i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
