I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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