I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
