i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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