Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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