I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's always time for handjobs
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
