I'm going to jail i love you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
