spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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