So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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