1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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