So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
