i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
this hospital has no fireball
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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