As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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