That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
