The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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