What did we do last night that was yellow?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
