hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
