just come out here and I will go home with you...
I CAN MOONWALK!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
