My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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