She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
