There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
