you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
