CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
