is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
