i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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