Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We got so high we made milksteak
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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