For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
