i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
