You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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