I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
