So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't deserve a penis
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize