and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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