I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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