i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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