i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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