I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
from now on my penis is your penis
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
