Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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