Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
