As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
