he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
