So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
