what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
