i already hear my dad disowning me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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