Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
