Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
