Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
