Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
