The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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