this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
