i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
this hospital has no fireball
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
