3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I puked a lego.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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