Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
