so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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