Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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