8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
