don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
love makes seman taste better
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
