He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
