Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
