NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
