well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
