If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
