Im at strip club and am horny
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
