That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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