Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize