i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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