Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
