i just google imaged poop.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
