He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
